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Posted: May 4, 2014 in God Moments, Health, Uncategorized

Silence is pure agony to the one that feels alone, yet to the child of God it is an ordained appointment with Abba.

God brought me into existence with the gift of severe hearing loss in both ears. My world has no lack of noise. I am a wife and mom to three young boys. Therefore, when God decides to grab my attention early one morning by short-circuiting my hearing-aid during the craziness of the carpool routine, it throws a static blow to this mom’s world.

Silence is gut wrenching abandonment. Suddenly, I lost the ability to truly connect with my husband. My mind spiraled trying to interpret his body language, his temperament and my satisfaction rating. My mind rushed through the endless possibilities like a puppy playing fetch with my emotions. My boys temporarily lost their over-communicative mommy. Not even abruptly invented gestures could ease the barrier of finding a fishing experiment gone bad in the toilet…again.  

I found myself in tears one night feeling incredibly alone, and unprotected while trying to stand for the ones I loved the most. As my heart shattered before His presence, I listened intently for a reply. What I received was far greater than what I had lost. I listened as I heard Him speak to me. His comforting hands held me in that moment in a way this orphan had never experienced. I needed to listen to His voice – filled with sounds of Truth, echoes of peace and resounding waterfalls of love. His Truth seemed to instantly put a soundproof barrier from my negative thoughts and I was overcome by the applause that He had chosen me as His child, dearly loved and cherished. Once you listen to that sweet song, life truly never sounds the same again. Silence is filled with a constant lullaby celebrating the end of loneliness. As His Child I took my place in His great symphony with confidence. 

God directed His music to allow my left ear to receive sound for the first time in my life and now I listen to the world around me in stereo. It seems so surreal that all of these events occurred in the order they did over the course of a month. God interrupted my life of hearing to show me the art of listening. 

Here I am Lord. I am waiting and listening. Use me today. 

Why I Run

Posted: April 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

True change is only evident when others point it out to you. Over the past few weeks, I have found myself answering various questions regarding my new fascination with running. I began my new journey in January of this year…yes, as in a few months ago. Why? Because I thought it would be fun. Yes, fun. 

I started running back in 2004, a few months after my fiancé decided he wanted to marry me. I was in full-time ministry on the complete opposite side of the country far from his embrace. I was fresh out of college, suited with the keys to my future and of course I had everything figured-out. I started walking with my new black and white ipod, mouthing the words to podcasts and DC Talk as I strolled. One day, I decided I would try jogging just to see how far my post-college cafeteria body could endure. I don’t remember how far I went, but I do recall that from that day on, I was determined to go a few steps farther. Each day, one step more at a time, I found myself dropping pounds and actually enjoying the stress-relief. I even signed-up to play soccer, which led to coaching youth soccer, then youth basketball. I looked great in my wedding dress too by the way. 

Over the years I ran or walked when I could. Ministry is stressful, period. For me, getting out and walking or jogging simply allowed me to process through a temporary escape from my need for answers. I enjoyed running to get away from my problems and to stay in shape (or at least look like I was trying). 

A few years back I finally started jogging again. I was doing well, trying to go out and jog every other day. I had 2 young kids, so I would rise early, jog, shower and then grab the kids before rushing off to work. It helped get my mind going before I was slammed at the office. 

I still remember asking the doctor if I could continue jogging. “Jogging Mrs. Boring? I don’t think you understand. You have a spinal fluid leak. You will not be jogging, let alone walking anywhere for a while.” 

The running shoes were thrown into the closet. I was so angry, stressed and desperately wanted to run…away…from all of this just like I had done so many times before. To me, this felt like a cruel joke God was playing on me. I was stuck. Alone. Nowhere to run. No clue how to process exactly what was going on or why. 

January 2014 was my first run since my battle with cancer and my first run with God. 

I’ll pause and let that line sink-in a bit…

You see, it took desperate measures for my Abba to get my attention. In my life, I ran alone. I needed to run in order to feel like I deserved to be loved. I needed to solve my own problems…or run away from them. Frankly, He knew I was tired of running way before I knew my shoes were wearing thin. During a retreat that God allowed me to attend in October of 2013, I got the message from Him so very clear – “I love you. Rest in me as you are. Stop and simply receive my love.” It still took months to really digest the closeness He desired for my life that I learned on that retreat…but eventually, I did stop. Eventually, I learned what acceptance looks like in His eyes. Eventually, I stopped running away and simply collapsed into His arms. 

So…why did I start running again?

I crave time with God and with three wound-up boys, there is no better place to have my time with God than running with Him. I started the Couch-2-5k program in January and completed my first two 5ks on Saturday, April 19th. I run three times a week – Monday and Wednesday mornings I try to complete 3.25 miles and Saturday I run 5 miles and walk 3 miles home. I’m not a runner by any means…but I love just getting out before the sunrise and coming before Him, as I am, with all that I am and simply run with Him. It has become the highlight of my week, calming my heart, refocusing my thoughts and allowing Him to breathe life into me first thing in the morning. Absolutely nothing can compare to this. Nothing. 

I run to be with God.

I run to hear His voice.

I run to see the sunrise.

I run to get stronger physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I run to finally be healthy inside and out.

I run to keep up with my boys.

I run to go father and accomplish goals.

I run to learn determination and the power of relying on God with each step.

I run so I don’t try to do life alone anymore.

I run determined. I run renewed. I run with God. 


I think that pretty much sums it up. 


Run Or Dye 5k


EggScramble 5K


Here we are in week 6 of our Proverbs 31 “Made To Crave” journey. I spent a few minutes today looking back at the pictures on my camera roll…and wow! I found a photo taken literally one week before Made To Crave started. The picture was of me and my older two boys just goofing off, preparing to enjoy some hot chocolate. I compared this grin to a picture I took just two days ago, snuggling with our eldest kiddo. I was shocked at how different I appeared in the more recent picture. Funny how just a few weeks can truly make such an impact. 


But I’ve decided my journey living a healthier life – a more fulfilled life – leaving the ” I’m a survivor” mindset behind and embracing the reality that I will live for today in His promises….that journey is still continuing. I’m far from done yet. 

But going down this new road is scary. I’m not exactly sure about my next move. I’m not sure how far I will run, or the right foods to try with our family, or if shooting for running a 5k in March is just plain crazy. In fact, I’ll admit this…most days I find myself gazing back at my reflection going, “Who are you?! I like the new you…but who are you really? Are you here to stay?!” Sometimes it takes a bit to allow changes to grow on you. 

I want to go beyond hoping this change will indeed occur permanently. 

I want to go beyond simply just believing and memorizing Gods plans for my life.

I want to have the courage, daily to make change stick. 



I will have a daily quiet time with my Abba Daddy.

I will continue on my c25k plan and eventually just run three miles three mornings a week.

I will continue to choose wise food options and keeping a food journal tracking my eating habits. 

I will continue to remain accountable to my study group.,

I will continue to live as His loved and precious child. 


Life is way too short to get comfortable and blend in. God gave us a joy to stand-out and take courage to make the changes we know that will bring us closer to Him. I believe I’m on my way. For the first time in a long time I feel like I know where I’m going and I have the courage through Him to press-on. 

So…who is with me? 

I included a video for this week too! Scroll down to view. 

Whew…week 2 is here and almost over!!! CRAZY!!!!

Determination… Have you checked out the definition of this word? If not, here you go – 

a. Firmness of purpose; resolve: approached the task with determination and energy.
b. A fixed intention or resolution: returned to school with a determination to finish.

I love the first part of this definition “firmness of purpose.” How many times have I struggled to make a change without a clearly defined, motivational purpose for that change – a purpose I could really believe in enough to make the needed change and actually stick with it?! Probably why I quit making New Years Resolutions a long time ago…

Made To Crave is not about losing weight. It’s not a book to get you back into your skinny jeans (oh yes, I kept my jeans I purchased after my chemo treatments…just days before I got the news I was pregnant…and obviously I resolved to get into that size again). But my motivation isn’t driven by that. 

I know I am loved. That’s what motivates me. That’s what gives this Made To Crave journey to a healthier lifestyle a purpose and longevity. I am loved by my husband, loved by my kids and loved by friends…but that isn’t the love I am referring to here. 

Bethany, don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let Me transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know My will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:2 NLT)

I know and I’ve experienced the love of my Abba Daddy…and each day I continue to root myself deeper into His love. No longer do I look around at my circumstances and go, “If God really loved me then why doesn’t He…” I’ve had plenty of opportunities to blame God and out of anger refuse Him to love me through my brokenness, through my trials and through my pain. The most amazing part of this new journey with my Abba Daddy, is knowing He loves me right where I am and He loves me too much to leave me stuck right here. He has been slowly showing me areas of my life that need changes…and He doesn’t expect me to leave Him, make the changes and then return. He wants to go through the changes WITH me! That is my motivation…I am determined to make the needed changes to be all that God designed me to be. Let my weaknesses show that He is the One that gets me through these challenges. 

Changes are hard…

He was with me when I decided to change my breakfast to a healthier option.

He kicked my butt out of bed at 5:50AM to walk…oh and we got time to just talk that entire walk…AWESOME!!!

He was with me trying to cook different meals for our family.

He was with me, cheering me on as I jogged around the house trying to get my 10k steps in each day. 

True motivation is rooted in a clearly defined purpose which enables authentic lifestyle change. 


Speaking of change…I made a video of the changes occurring out of my new motivation! It has clearly been changes for the better – but it shows better through this video I made. Enjoy! Maybe more to come…


Here is the recipe and link for the breakfast refrigerated oatmeal! Enjoy! Have a great week everyone!! 

  • 1/4 cup uncooked old fashioned rolled oats
  • 1/3 cup skim milk
  • 1/4 cup low-fat Greek yogurt
  • 1-1/2 teaspoons dried chia seeds
  • 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
  • 1 teaspoon honey, optional (or substitute any preferred sweetener)
  • 1/4 cup diced ripe banana, or enough to fill jar (approx. half of a small banana)

In a half pint (1 cup) jar, add oats, milk, yogurt, chia seeds, cocoa powder and honey. Put lid on jar and shake until well combined. Remove lid, add bananas and stir until mixed throughout. Return lid to jar and refrigerate overnight or up to 2 days. Eat chilled.

Nutritional Info: 245 calories, 5g fat, 56g carbs, 10g fiber, 13g protein; Weight Watchers PtsPlus: 8

On Abba’s Shoulders

Posted: November 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

On Abba's Shoulders

Life is better from up here.

My #YesToGod Prayer

Posted: August 29, 2013 in Uncategorized

I’m already on chapter 6? Seriously? “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God” – they change the world…that’s what!

I’m not sure about you, but my mornings are anything but graceful…or grateful! My evenings are filled with jolted thinking, the lights are “on” and for me, it takes a bit more than a pillow to keep my wheels from turning. In fact, my best writing has been done in the late night – early morning literally looking into the moonlight.

But the morning…regardless of the amount of sleep I get, they are so hard! The boys wake me up…sometimes saying “Cockadoodledoo mommy!” Louder than even the fattest rooster could belch…most likely at a higher pitch too. Other times I’m greeted with one or two flying little Spider-Man mid-air before they make contact…I think they’ve seen mommy run to the bathroom too many times to use that greeting much anymore.

Perhaps mornings are hard because mentally I have a fresh, new list of chores to do, errands to run, businesses to run, calls to make, jobs to start, incompletesd tasks looming from yesterday and shoot…if I don’t even make it out of bed before checking my email and Facebook! Seriously?!

Funny…I realized how self-centered I am from the get-go and how God-centered I can become at night. It’s almost as if a switch in my brain clicks on when my husband heads to bed that I can finally relax in Gods arms!

Why haven’t I allowed myself to START my day in HIS arms? After all, that’s where I started…that’s where I’ve been, that’s where I want to remain.

HIS WORDS to me this week…
Even before He made the world, God loved you, Bethany, and chose you in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt you into His own family by bringing you to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:4, 5 NLT)


Even before the world came into existence, God LOVED me? Yes.

But I didn’t cross off my “To-Do” list yet…
But I didn’t tell my kids I loved them yet…
But I didn’t have time to really talk to You…
Shoot…You loved me naked, not even able to feed myself?


And AFTER planning me and my life, then He started His to-do list…you know…just errands like creating the world, saving the world and making a place for us in Heaven… (and ya thought you had a lot going on today!).

God told me…little, busy, thinking I can take on the world queen ant….the God of the Universe, Creator of live, Author of life, our Abba Father spent time claiming us BEFORE doing anything else! That sets us apart from everything in this world! We are His!

It hit me…ending the day in His arms isn’t enough. Talking with Him during the day, even smiling when I feel His presence…that’s not enough either.
I need to start in Him, with Him so I can live through Him and for Him.

Perhaps my morning prayer would go a bit like this…
Abba Daddy,
You loved me before I loved myself. I give over everything on my list to you right now . I have my selfish agenda for today and I need You to be my calendar, wreck my plans and show Me what I can do with You today. Help me to remind myself when my schedule changes…and it will…that You are in control and to see Your opportunities throughout this day. I don’t want to do life my way today. Please use me today. I am Yours.

Ok…so we will give this a shot here in a few hours…. Team huddle…3-2-1 BREAK!!



EDIT – Made it out of bed, got the kids to school and THEN realized I forgot this prayer today! Ok…I’m setting a reminder on my phone! I will get this down!!