I’m Not Strong Enough

Posted: February 8, 2012 in Uncategorized

I've been debating about how to post this. So many people tell me, “You are such an inspiration to me!” Of course, that makes a girl with 2 brain tumors and CIDP feel good, but it's misleading. In fact, the number one worst insult someone can say to another hurting person is, “It's going to be fine.” I've said this before so many times and I had no clue how it made the other person feel…until now. Sometimes the deck of cards you get in life doesn't make sense. Sometimes you don't know, in all fairness, that things will turn out the way you want. Sometimes it doesn't turn out at all the way you want. You get mad, angry, discouraged, frustrated and you feel alone.

And it's okay.

We forget that God created those emotions and feelings for a reason. Sometimes knowing things are not okay, is okay. That's where I am right now…and the next person that tells me everything is “okay” better be prepared for what they hear next.

I couldn't think of anything better to express what I'm feeling right now, than what Matthew West has already done through his song, “Strong Enough.” I've heard this so many times, but I was listening to it yesterday, during one of my breaks in between treatments that were not going well, and I thought, “That's it…that's ME!” Even though it's hard for me to verbally state where I am right now, It's all right here. If you haven't heard this song, google it. It's great…here are the lyrics. Enjoy.

Strong Enough by Matthew West

You must, You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through
Well, forgive me, forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do on my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy, won't You cover me?
Lord, right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
For the both of us, yeah

Well maybe, maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up
'Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up and reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy, won't You cover me?
Lord, right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough

'Cause I'm broken, down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God and You are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
I don't have to be strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be strong enough
Strong enough, oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up, I'm not strong enough

Hands of mercy, won't You cover me?
Lord, right now I'm asking You to be
Strong enough, strong enough
Strong enough

Isn't it nice to know that we don't have to have everything in our lives figured out for God to love us as His own?

Use What you got, with All you got, for the ONE you got it from.
You are bought “as-is” now go, be used as His.

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